


Benrey Working at Grestin Border Checkpoint

by digory__dot



Category: Half-Life, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Papers Please (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crossover, Funny, Gen, Joke Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24250411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digory__dot/pseuds/digory__dot
Summary: A silly short fic about Benrey working at the Checkpoint as the inspector.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Benrey Working at Grestin Border Checkpoint

**Author's Note:**

> Pardon any mistakes, I just wrote this for fun at 5am.
> 
> But when do I ever NOT write at an ungodly hour??

“Next,” Inspector Benrey said, pressing his mouth against the speaker phone so that his voice was barely distinguishable.

The next immigrant walked in as vaguely instructed.

“Your passport?” Benrey continues to press his mouth way too close to the speaker, actually putting unnecessary effort in to bend down to its height “Please?” Benrey continued, but the passport had already been slid through the paper slot by the time he finished his short plea.

He grabbed the passport and inspected it thoroughly, it took him about a grueling minute or two to look it over. He leaned back down to the microphone “you need an entry p̵̠̾ermit too, where is it?” the speaker popped obnoxiously when he said ‘permit’.

“A permit? I don’t know what you’re talking about, what permi-”

“What do you mean you don’t have a permit?!” Benrey yelled into the mic, his voice could be heard halfway through the mile-long line outside.

“I-I just…” the immigrant tried to collect their bearings as Benrey’s volume startled them.

“I’m going to have to deny you access to Arstotzka, I hope you realize this,” Benrey said, pressing his fat, red stamp onto the immigrant’s passport and handing it back to them.

The immigrant walked out of the checkpoint at a brisk pace, as if Benrey was about to chase them.

“Next,” Benrey bellowed into the loud-speaker.

One of the guards decided to march into the checkpoint, officer Calensk. He stared at Benrey for a good second, his face stoic and cold “y-”

“Your p̷͚assp̵̺̔ort, ṗ̷͜lease,” Benrey interrupted.

“I am guard, I don’t need passport- I did not come in here to get through,” Calensk explained annoyedly “look, inspector, your volume at this hour of the morning is at detainably high level. I am getting headache,”

“░▒░▓█░░▒░▓█░░▓█▓█,” Benrey said.

“I am going to kill you!” Calensk yelled.

The detain button popped down from Benrey’s desk, he pushed it.

The other guard escorted Calensk out of the checkpoint, the latter grumbling and cursing.

“Next blease,” Benrey spoke into the mic.

The next person stepped up.

“Hello, Inspector!” the old man who stepped in said, his mouth gaped open as he spoke, though his tone was completely average.

“Please give me the passport and the papers,”

“Of course, valued worker!” the old man smiled and slipped his papers through the slot.

Benrey looked over the papers “y-” he started, then gave the papers another once over “you gotta strip - you’ve been randomly selected,”

“Oh goodie!” the curtains closed on the eerily excited man as snapshots are taken of him.

The curtains open.

“Hello, Inspector!” the old man was still naked.

The pictures printed out and Benrey gazed at them for a few moments “nice,” he declared.

Benrey stamped the man’s passport green and the man went on his way, still naked.

“Next,”

“I-I-I think that- that guy is naked!” the next person walked in, looking through the exit where the previous man ran out. His voice sounded childish and perpetually concerned.

  
  


“░░▓█░▓█░▓░░passport░?” Benrey asked.

The guy handed his passport and ID over “I’m going to go to the candy factory :)” the man callowly explained.

“This is expired!” Benrey screamed into the microphone, nearly causing anyone within a 2 mile radius to be deaf.

“:(“ the man said as Benrey stamped his passport red and sent him away.

The alarm for the end of the shift sounded, Benrey ran out of his office “ha ha ha ha!” he screamed, running home as the guards tried to catch the naked old man sprinting around.


End file.
